Grown Up Friends

We have constantly heard-since we were kids-that things get more complicated the older we get. Which made sense to me for the most part. Bills, career goals, laundry, making sure we don’t get run over by car … ya know… #adulting! That what most of us expected. A life filled with rules, obligations and constant compromise. But very few grown ups share what happens to our relationships as we get older. Life began to move at a breakneck speed after I got married, and even more so after I turned 30. I moved away from my close knit group of friends in New York and while I was developing one important relationship my other established relationships went out of focus. Sure, there were over the phone catch up sessions, but it was tough, and making new friends as a grown up in a new setting was tougher. It didn’t make sense to me and I didn’t expect it.The fact that I moved back to my hometown didn’t make it any easier. I moved from Miami to New York at 21, so unfortunately, my childhood friends and I didn’t have a ton of things in common, and when I’d make the effort to connect with someone new, I felt like I didn’t fit in because I had turned into a New Yorker. I shopped at different places, liked different music, and felt misunderstood. I was a foreigner in my native land where people enjoyed going on boats and Disney on the weekends and I just wanted see an indie film, go to cool bookstores, and find a nice glass of Rosé (which I never did). I eventually got in to my groove and made some great friends that enjoyed my quirks and understood me. They are all wonderfully different and made my 2nd time around in Miami memorable, but it was incredibly hard at first.

Once I began blogging, I was lucky enough to meet a few great people who shared the same interest my husband and I did. One in particular was my friend, Lola. We first met digitally, through Instagram, which was surprising. I’m very outgoing and never thought I’d make friends through an app. But I did, and quickly too. We started our blogs within a month of each other and mutually admired each other’s content. She had a great sense of style and a beautiful new born baby girl, Vera, that she dressed to perfection. We resolved to meet during Swim Week last year, but kept missing each other at events. Until I found her business card strewn at the bar of an event we both attended (after she left) I knew then we had to meet. It was a sign. We finally met the next day -the rest is history. Lola and I understood each other and shared so many similar passions, one of them being New York. Our husbands also got on swimmingly and before we knew it, we were over their house every day and they are now friends that are family.

They have since relocated to D.C. shortly after we relocated to New York and we continue to grow together with love and support, despite the distance. We push each other to create and change consistently. She gets it, and understands the struggle of juggling real life and blogging. Lola and I keep each other grounded, inspired and motivated while we deal with the ever demanding pressures of #adulting. All of my friendships (new and old) are very unique and special, but what’s cool about my relationship with Lola is that it would’ve never happened if one of us didn’t decide to persue our passion and create something for ourselves. She is the only friend I have had that I didn’t meet through any one person or situation ( work, school, etc.) .

I didn’t understand how important it was to have something I do for myself that isn’t working out or getting my nails done, until I created my blog. In a way, we attracted ourselves to each other by putting what we love out into the universe first.

I’ve said many times that The Flamingo Chronicles has changed my life, and this is yet another example of that. There are many ways to make ‘grown up’ friends, there is certainly no wrong way. For me, putting my passion out into the world was the easiest way to make a new friend and I definitely recommend it to any one who is transitioning and may need one, because the truth is, you really can’t have too many quality friends that lovingly support you. Put your whole self out into universe and it will give you what and who you need!

Be open to the possibilities friends,

XX

J

P.S. Be sure to visit here for chic, fun style, tips from a cool mom, and adorable pictures of sweet baby Vera. You can thank me later!

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